Diary of a madwoman in the kitchen Part 1

Throughout the entire year of 2015, I kept a kind of journal.

It wasn’t full of my social activities—one must have a social life for that.

It wasn’t recounting my travel to exotic locales—You need go further away from home than Costco for it to count as travel.

And it sure wasn’t kept online.  I have less social media presence than a 17th century monk.

This guy writes with a feather–there’s no way he’s on Facebook.

But it was a log of food, cooking, and eating in which I’d taken part during the year, and what I’d learned.

January 17th-Spent a few days as a patient at Duke Hospital.  Haven’t spent much time there since Petey was released in the spring of 2014.  When we were there, they were trying out a new program for patients to order off a menu.

It was fully in place during my stay.

I had a big problem with it—I wanted everything.  Not only were there hundreds of possible combinations, the food that I did order was well-cooked and tasty.

Hospital linens may resemble sand paper, and there’s no water pressure, but at least the grub won’t make you want to gather up all those scratchy sheets and weave a rope to make a break for it.

February 17th-You’d think I’d learn.  It is never ever a good idea to go shopping on an empty stomach.  But, every time I open the cabinet, and see that unopened jar of pickled gummy bears, maybe I’ll remember.

Oh yeah baby, that’s the stuff.  Come to Mama with your frosted self.

March 3rd-After years of searching out and traveling to Great American Cookie Companies across this nation to get one of my favorite treats–their delicious, utterly decadent, overly stuffed double doozie cookies, I discover that Mrs. Fields cookies stores makes as good, if not better frosting-stuffed chocolate cookies.

To paraphrase Judy Garland, “Every cookie I was looking for was right there at Mrs. Fields all along.”

April 13th- Mom sent me a box of cookies for my birthday.  Now I have definitive proof that no matter whether they’re green frosted with red sprinkles for Christmas, or lilac with pink sugar for Easter, as long as there is a 50/50 icing to cookie ratio, Mom’s homemade sugar cookies are almost magical in their yumminess.

Happy Mother’s Day!  What’s your co-pay at the ER?

May 10th– Hooters is offering free meals to mom on Mothers’ day.  Yeah, don’t care.  I’d rather pay to eat egg salad sandwiches from a vending machine.  They might be awful, unhealthy, and possibly packed with exotic, disease-causing microbes, but after I recuperated, I could look myself in the mirror.

May 23rd, and 30th– Marshmallows are actually really easy, and very quick to make, but creates a huge sticky mess.

Short bread is easy and quick to make but makes a huge, buttery mess.

June 19th– It’s cherry season!  Fresh cherries are really nutritious.  They go great in sweet or savory foods, smoothies, or just eaten all by themselves.

But a few words of advice: Be choosy.  You don’t have to buy that whole zip-top bag.  In some stores that sack can run you more than $25.  Just get the amount you want.  Always make sure they have stem attached. Without a stem, they have the shelf life of a Hollywood marriage.

They are also crazy expensive.  Shop the sales.  The money you save for a really good mark-down will more than make up for a little drive to that particular store.  And the closer they get to the end of the season (around the fourth of July), the cheaper they get.

Next week: July through December.

Thanks for your time.

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